Sunday, May 17, 2009

A failure to communicate

It's 6:30 am. Two whole entire hours after I've just eaten the biggest meal of my little life.

I'm making all the right signs. Clamping my mouth shut? That means I'm hungry. Clamping my mouth shut and cramming my fists in front of it? That means I'm very hungry. Spitting out the nipple and using my arms to physically shove the bottle away from my face? Get with the program, Dad: This means I am in the final throes of perishing of hunger! And I suppose you don't suck on a nipple when you want to burp, either.

No, I'm not going to move my arms away from my face or open my mouth. I have people to do that for me. No, I can't be bothered to actually suck on the nipple. I have... what do you mean, I don't have someone to suck on the nipple for me? You can't get good help around here.

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