Thursday, December 31, 2009

Years change?

The gang's all here for a New Year's Rock (Band)-in' Eve. Everybody wanted me to play Baby 2010, but nobody volunteered to be Old Man 2009.

I don't think it's fair that the year gets to have a birthday before I do. Isn't Anno Sadii good enough for everybody? Ah well, I can be magnanimous. Happy New Year, whatever that is.

Good News, Bad News

Mom and Dad thought my cough was just from a cold, but when I started running a little hot (my first fever! Is this a milestone?) Dad took me to the baby mechanic for a look-see. The doctor says I have a sinus infection, so now I get to have yummy pink stuff twice a day. Mom and Dad think I don't know, but even I can tell that my milk smells like bubblegum.

The doc also noticed a few signs that my spinal lipoma might be acting up, and said maybe I should have my surgery sooner than we'd been planning. I'll have my people call the neurosurgeon to talk it over.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Not What I Intended

I'm getting better at moving around on my own, but I wish people would stop taking the floor away. Luckily there was more floor a little further down.

I guess progress is often accompanied by back-sliding. Next time I try to get down off a bed myself, remind me to do it feet-first.

What Goes Down

...must come up. Making it 8 months before my first middle-of-the-night change-all-my-clothes puking session isn't so bad, I guess.

What is it with you people who always want pictures of this stuff?!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Rolling Stone

I'm an expert at rolling now. And I weigh 14 lb. Need I say more?

Monday, December 28, 2009


Hooray, my passport arrived while we were traveling. After all that fuss, my photo must have been printed when the yellow ink cartridge was low. I guess it'll be handy if I ever want to travel after bathing in cherry Kool-Aid.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Bye-bye, Boston

Grandpa, Mom, Dad, Uncle Colin
Martha, Grandma, Ethan, Aunt Martha, Sarah

So long, everybody! Thanks for making my first Christmas... well, not memorable, since I don't have long-term memory yet, but it was fun!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Colin Air

Uncle Colin knows the flying game. I'm about to show him the drooling game.

A New Wrinkle

My feet. No particular raisin.

The Nice Water Park

Aunt Martha took everybody to the Coco Key Water Resort. It's an even bigger shower than the one in Duluth! And this time, we got to sit down and get acquainted slowly. I splashed in the shallows with Dad and nearly fell asleep floating on an inner tube with Mom.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Belle of the Ball

Aunt Martha and Uncle Colin's neighbors host a fancy-dress Christmas party every year. I totally had the fanciest dress.

The grown-ups sang carols, but Mom and Dad took me home when I wailed on the minor third. So much for supporting my musical aspirations.

Christmas Festivitiezzz

When Christmas dinner conflicts with naptime, you know where my priorities are. All that splishing and splashing takes a toll on a girl.

Splish Splash

The fancy-dress party is only 8 hours away, so I'd better start my toilette now.

It's my first time sitting in a bathtub to take a bath. This tub is a lot smaller and quieter than the one in Duluth, but it's not much more private. And who forgot to pack my duckie?

I Saw Three Kids Come Wailing In

Christmas morning at last! The gift-opening orgy started at 7:00 sharp. Santa brought me an H.

I got clothes and books from Grandma and Grandpa. My cousins got lots of fun stuff too, but I don't understand why they keep throwing away the yummiest part. It's called "candy stripes" for a reason, you know.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Best Babysitter

Mom and Dad went off to see 101 Dalmatians and dumped me at a neighbor's house with only a playpen, a pacifier, two bottles, my squeaky giraffe, a rattle, three gangly animals, a hand-me-down musical octopus, two friendly dogs, and Michaela, my first babysitter.

Separation anxiety is traumatic, but they'll get over it once I'm out of sight.


Cousins Ethan, Martha, and Sarah tried to show me what Christmas is all about. I think I can get into this. With extra minions around, I don't even need to learn to crawl.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Relative Coordinates

We left Grandma and Grandpa's house in St. Paul and flew to Boston, where... Grandma and Grandpa were waiting for us! If I knew about object permanence, I'd be impressed.

Riders on the storm

Everyone in Minnesota has properly admired me, so it's time to break camp and fly to Boston.

The good news is, we're here at the airport in plenty of time. The bad news is, there's a blizzard coming. The good news is, it's not due to hit until tonight. The bad news is, our flight is delayed two hours because our flight crew slept in, so we'll miss our connection. The good news is, Continental rebooked us on a Northwest flight, taking the last two seats to Boston today. The bad news is, it leaves two hours after our original flight. The good news is, it's nonstop, so it arrives 15 minutes earlier!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Crash course in winter driving

Minnesota drivers have a funny way of greeting each other in the wintertime. A nice man gave our car a little love tap with his on a highway entrance ramp. I was pretty scared at first, but it takes more than a fender-bender to put me off my nap, so I snoozed while Mom and Dad made friends with him.

Wash and Set

We went with Great-Grandma for her wash 'n' set at the beauty parlor. I hope I look as good as she does at 91.

I wanted curlers too, but no luck. Guess I'll stick with pureed carrots as a styling aid.

There's No Business Like Snow Business

Grandma and Grandpa's house is covered in this cold, white stuff. It's like the inside of the freezer, but it tastes better.

I didn't get to make a snow angel, because my jacket isn't waterproof. Lame! Besides, my wings would have frozen off.

Over easy, please

We had a yummy breakfast with Great-Grandpa before heading back to St. Paul. His place has great service: the staff slap the food on the table, then spend the rest of their time cooing at the baby.

Crack of Dawn

Ever wonder what the crack of dawn looks like? Now you know. I used to show it to Mom and Dad a lot, before they put aluminum foil on the bedroom windows.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Mean Water Park

We stayed at a place with the biggest shower you ever saw, but it had an attitude problem. Everyone was leaving when we arrived, so we only stayed long enough for it to spray water in my face. This is supposed to be fun?

Fly-Over Country

After dinner, we went back to Great-Grandpa's place. I can't reuse the photo joke, so instead I showed him some finer points of flying. Who says Minnesota is flyover country? I do!

Dining Out, Minnesota Style

We took Great-Grandpa out to dinner for his 96th birthday. Let's see, that's how many times older than me? I'm gonna need more toes for this one.

In Minnesota you're supposed to eat hot dish. I guess it is soothing on the gums.


Napoleon said an army travels on its stomach. No wonder it took him three months to reach Moscow. Now that I've tried it, I understand why little girls want a pony.

I traveled 2 days for this?

Road trip! Next stop: Duluth. I hear Minnesota's north woods are picturesque. Is that another word for bleak?


First stop in the Minnesota tour was Dad's grandma. Her middle name is the same as mine. What a coincidence!

I gave Great-Grandma the best present ever: Me! Also the second-best present ever: A photo of me.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

O Baby Tree

I didn't know that mirror babies grew on trees. Grandma and Grandpa have quite a crop here in their living room.

A shocking discovery

Among the things they have in Minnesota that haven't come to California yet is something called "static electricity". Right on the tip of my tender widdle nose! Gee, thanks, Dad. If you plan to do this once for every time I spit up on you, I'm outta here.

Are We There Yet?

My 3.5-hour flight to St. Paul sat on the tarmac for 3 hours due to two separate mechanical problems. Sorry about the crying, folks: baby union overtime policy.

I didn't get my own seat, but I did get my own seat belt. Still no snacks from the flight attendant, though. Good thing Mom brought mine.


Another month, another cross-country trip. This time I'm off to St. Paul and Duluth to visit my great-grandparents. Then on to Boston.

Saturday, December 19, 2009


Great. Now I'll never get into a motorcycle gang.

But at least people will stop saying what a nice little boy I am. Except maybe in San Francisco. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Holiday Hearing

The wardens brought all the parents into the MSDF for a big holiday parole hearing, with snacks. Olivia's grandpa was apparently squeezing a cat inside a bag with pipes poking out of it. He was wearing an outfit called a "kilt," possibly named after what happens to the cat.

But I was granted a 2-week furlough, so I'm not complaining.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

B School

Dad says when I get older I can go to bee school, like my Auntie Martha. I'm ready.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Cutest of the Three Mooshketeers

Yo ho ho! (Not to be confused with "Ho ho ho" -- that's later.) It's all for moosh and moosh for all.

My beard needs a trim. Anyone have pruning shears?

Mom's Birthday

Happy birthday, Mom! You're 64 times older than me. Apparently Dad likes younger women.

It's Uncle Henhuh's birthday, too. He gave me this awesome squeaky giraffe for his birthday. Say, every day is somebody's birthday, right?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Gingerbread Houses

We had a party where everyone but me made gingerbread houses out of graham crackers. That makes as much sense to me as anything else around here. I passed the afternoon granting audiences to my adoring public. Chris doesn't play the flying game, but she really loves babies. I guess she's okay.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


A ga ga ya ya da!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Back on the Meds

Dad took me in for my second round of flu shots, both seasonal and H1N1, today. He also picked up a fresh bottle of hooch from the pharmacy, saying something about making sure it doesn't freeze. Dunno what that was all about.

After a particularly noisy weekend, things have quieted down around here. It's nice to not have to listen to all that wailing and gnashing of teeth, er, gums. Or be producing them. Everyone at daycare was more cheerful than last week. Mom and Dad too.

I'm feeling lots better now than I was last week. Lighter, too. I weighed in at 13 lb 8 oz, down from 13 lb 14 oz (after a big meal) on Friday. Maybe I shouldn't party so hard.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Sleepless in Santa Clara

I just got back from Albany, and boy are my parents tired. I picked up a cold on the plane, and something's been bothering my tummy. What's a poor baby to do all night?


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Back in the Clink

My week-long furlough is over, and I have a new MSDF cellmate, Butch. I'll teach her to sit up, and then we're taking over this joint.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Come Fly With Me

Some of the relatives were so reluctant to say goodbye to me, they took my plane home. Lee, Janene, and Evan followed as far as Chicago. Uncle Henhuh, Massi Santosh, Anya, and Yash tagged along all the way. Anya won the prize for loudest shrieking on the plane, but I walked away with longest wail. My ears might have been stopped up; I know everyone else was wishing theirs were.

Friday, November 27, 2009

More Relations

I met some of my more distant relatives, from back east. (When you live spitting-up distance from the Pacific Ocean, just about everywhere is back east.) Massi Savita is Mom's brother's wife's sister, and Danielle is Mom's mom's brother's daughter. Apparently neither of them knows the flying game, though, so whatever.


Last night the fridge in our hotel room froze my medicine. I wanted to suck on it like a salty popsicle, but Dad said it'd be too hard to control the dose.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Gooey, Gooey

Anyone who goes to Uncle Mike's for Thanksgiving risks attending the so-called show. For my debut, I accompanied Mom and Dad as, in lieu of entertainment, they sang this song (to the tune of "Louie, Louie").

Bass line:
(ad nauseum)
Nom nom nom
Nom nom
Nom nom nom

Nom nom

Gooey gooey
Oh yeah
Me gotta eat
Yea yea yea yea yea yea

Gooey gooey
Oh yeah
Me gotta eat
Yea yea yea yea yea yea

Verse 1:

A fine little meal
They make for me
It's fruit and veg'-
table puree [sic]

Me slurp it up
From plastic spoon
Then spit a glob
Across the room

Verse 2:

Carrots, peas
And winter squash
Are just the thing
For baby nosh

Of all the foods,
The best me like
Potatoes mash'
By Uncle Mike


Verse 3:

Me grab me toes
Me drop me spoon
Me meal it take
All afternoon

Me wash it down
With drink of milk
Me tell you, mon
No bovine ilk

Verse 4:

That gooey food
It everywhere
It on me nose
It in me hair

Me take me bath
While Dad mop up
The aftermath

Final Refrain:

Gooey gooey
Oh yeah
Me gotta eat
Yea yea yea yea yea yea

Ga-ga gooey
Oh yeah
Me wanna eat now
Wah wah wah wah wah wah!

High Fashion

Most people dressed up, but I'm the only one hip enough to pull off "gobble" footies. Except I can't. How am I supposed to suck my toes now?

Turkey Day

Lots of Mom's family are here at Great-Uncle Mike's for Thanksgiving. Relatives traveled from California, Illinois, and Pennsylvania, and Grandma Natalie and Grandpa Dale even came up from Texas. I wish my distant relations lived closer.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

We Lied

Dad had extra fun cleaning my poop off of everything in sight in the men's room of the fancy restaurant. This will teach him an important lesson about volunteering.

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

We got back to Albany just in time for Mom's cousin Lee's birthday dinner. For a fun time, take four children under 4 years old to a fancy restaurant well past their bedtimes. The four of us had fun, anyway.

Moving Up

This morning Mom and Dad moved my car seat shoulder straps to the top setting. One more step on my path to world domination.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Get Along, Little Doggie

Debbie knows all about flying, but Corinna started teaching me to ride. My beginner steed Matzi is very patient.

I got the headlights on, but I can't figure out how to turn the wiper off.

Fly Ithaca Airways

The morning after we arrived in Albany, we got back into the car to visit Mom and Dad's friends Debbie and Corinna in Ithaca. It was a record two-nap drive.

Wouldn't you know it, Debbie knows the fly game too! Sometimes it's good to be a baby.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Nothing But Net

Here we are back in Albany, for Thanksgiving with Mom's extended family. The card on the hotel desk said something about a fancy adjustable air bed, but I'm not seeing it.

On the other hand, I know I'm surrounded by the elite, if everyone's been as carefully screened as me. Those aren't JPEG artifacts in the photo, they're mesh.

CIO (5)

Game called on account of travel.

Economy Minus

I know airlines are always trying to increase capacity, but this is ridiculous. In the last three months, the headroom in these plane seats has been halved. At least the seat's well padded.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

CIO (4)

10 minutes.

With Help From My Little Friends

The food at this establishment is pretty quotidian, but the service is first-rate.

Another step forward for Toddler and Baby Emancipation: soon we won't need grown-ups for anything. If only they'd move the chocolate onto a lower shelf.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

CIO (3)

10 minutes.

Finger Wiggling

For the past six weeks, Mom and Dad have taken me to clandestine gatherings where people sit in a circle around an elaborate stage and make arcane hand gestures. They claim they're learning a form of communication, but I think it's really casting magic spells.

Better Than Thumbs

So that's what toes are for!

CIO (2)

60 minutes at 8 PM, 45 minutes at 4 AM.

Friday, November 20, 2009

CIO (1)

45 minutes at 7 PM, 60 minutes at 3:30 AM.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Rock On Mom [sic]

We played Rock Band at Ted's birthday party. I remember something like this from about 9 months ago, only it was a lot darker and more muffled. Mom would be able to sing better now, if I weren't still leaning on her diaphragm. Don't worry, I'll help out with the high notes.


I had a great time at Ted's birthday BBQ. Everywhere I turn, someone knows the flying game!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Accessory Package

Check out my stylin' ride. It's fully loaded with sun shade, chin rest, and wet bar.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Candy Buttons

Dad got out the box of winter clothes in preparation for my visits to relatives in the Frozen North. He promised me I'll fit in better dressed like this.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Health Food

They say carrots are good for the eyes. I wonder how they are on chins and ears? Lean closer, Dad.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Deluxe Chin Rinser

Chin rinsers come in do-it-yourself models, too, with convenient handles. Plus, this one doubles as a giant pacifier.

Chin Rinser

Sometimes after Mom or Dad has been smearing carrots or oatmeal on me for a while, they'll use one of these to dribble water down my face. What an amazing world, where they make special gadgets just for rinsing chins.