Hail in a handbasket

When Mom told me snow is frozen water falling from the sky, I was understandably skeptical. Now I'm convinced it exists, but I still don't believe the part about how people like to catch it on their tongue or throw clumps of it at each other.

Baking time

My sand cake tastes okay, but it's a bit stiff. Next time I won't bake it so long.

Erdbeer Schnitte

Acting on a hot tip about an English-speaking playgroup, Dad stuffed an umbrella in the shopping trolley and me in the daddy saddle, and out we went into the drizzle to catch a 45-minute S-Bahn ride. From the station, we trudged 15 minutes through weather that couldn't make up its mind until we came to the church where the cross marks the spot.

Circumnavigating the church failed to flush out a single rug-rat, but we did learn that they would be back the next week with no holidays. Since this is a Catholic church, I think that means in about 17 years. To cheer dad up, I steered him into a cafe where they had Erdbeer Schnitte on special so I could eat most of his slice.

Dad missed the train home twice in a row. The moral of this tale is, don't mess around when you're trying to catch the S-Bahn in Ottobrunn. Long story, short cake.

Incisor makes five

Pushed out another top incisor. Now I have two pairs of opposing teeth. Look out, apples!

Smashing good time

Dad chucked a milk bottle and a jar of applesauce onto the kitchen floor today, apparently without pedagogical intent, although I did learn some choice words. Did you know glass shards fly horizontally 3 to 17 times the height the thing they cleave from falls? What a mess. Dad spent most of the evening separating compost from recycling.

Da-da, Ma-ma, Mih-mih

These "words" are pretty handy. I invented some for everyday objects I see more regularly than duhs and buhs. Da-da is a nearby parent, and Ma-ma is a nearby parent. Or is it the other way around? Doesn't really matter, because either one will fetch mih-mih on demand.

Game day

We went to the Hirschgarten to play games with the Toytowners. I don't understand the rules, but I love the part where Mom throws her dice into the barbecue sauce.

Football Math

Q: Suppose a U-Bahn platform 240 meters long by 6 meters wide is packed with 4 FC Bayern München fans per square meter all going to watch a telecast of the team's match against FC Internazionale Milano in the UEFA Champions League final. Also suppose a U-Bahn train consists of 6 cars, each of which has 98 seats and standing room for 192 additional passengers. What percentage of the FC Bayern München fans packing the platform will board the northbound U6 train?

A: Zero. The U6 train is already carrying 4672 football fans, so nobody can get on. Mom and Dad have to carry me home.

Exclusive company

Run that by me again: Dad put this access ramp in front of the TV to keep me further away from it? You're joking, right?

Limits

Even when you're sick, there are limits. I may not want to nap, or drink my milk, or eat my lunch, but a chocolate cookie is always welcome.

Not a coffee warmer, either

I don't know what it means when the thermometer says 104. I do know that I feel bad. And my forehead is not a toaster.

Smell the flowers

Slow down, you move too fast.
Put your foot down on the grass.
Crawl around on hands and knees,
Play in mud and get all dirty.
Stoop and smell the pretty flower,
Watch it grow for half an hour.
Get nothing done, not even maybe,
And spend your time just like a baby!

I've got not much to do:
Drink a bottle or two,
And take a long nap
When my snack time is through.
I can shriek to outdo
All the chimps in the zoo.
I spend my time just like a baby.

So go chill, catch a frivolous thrill.
Tell the ants in your pants
To go back to their hill.
Eat a handful of sand
In a playground that's shady,
And spend your time just like a baby.
Wah wah wah wah wah,
I'm a baby.

I has another bucket

Iz still mah bukkit.

Vroom, vroom

No better way to spend a Monday afternoon than cruising the playground on my dirt bike. Hey babe, can I give you a lift?

Birthday party

Mom's not feeling good, so Dad and I left her sleeping and went to Chiara's house to wish Chiara's mom a happy birthday. I hung with the big kids, some up to 3 years old. And the food... I don't know the German word for "berry trifle", but in my language it's, "More! More!"

How do you do?

It's tough making friends in a new town, but Dad's on the job. He put out the call to babies who come to League of Accidental Hausfrauen meetups. Centa and her parents stepped up to the plate (Mom's chocolate chip cookies, who wouldn't?) and came to visit. Centa is just three weeks younger than me, so our skills and interests are well matched.

Needs More Salt

I get that the old blinky box thing wouldn't work with Dad's Don't-Playstation. I get that the new blinky flat thing is shinier and makes prettier pictures. But I'm still not allowed to lick it. Apart from the staleness issue, I'd rather have a hundred soft pretzels.

A-curding to Dad

"Eureka!" shouted Dad, or some other word that's equally Greek to me. "Now I understand how ancient people discovered using rennet to make cheese." Seems a mighty arbitrary thing to say on your way to putting the baby down for a nap. I guess people get sort of random when you barf a whole bottle of milk down their back.

Happy Father's Day

Happy German Father's Day, Dad! I know how much you like to feel needed, so I started cutting a new tooth today, just for you. A couple days of crying instead of eating or sleeping will put you in the mood to celebrate in proper German style. Oh, and American Father's Day is just a month away. I can show my appreciation again! Vater werden ist nicht schwer, Vater sein dagegen sehr.

Weighing In

Our air shipment of stuff finally arrived. I didn't know that 10–14 days is the same as 6 1/2 weeks. Must be Icelandic volcano-math. If I can eat müsli without chewing it, you'd think a huge jet engine could swallow a little ash.

Since I don't see any toys or cake in the boxes, the most important thing to arrive is my scale. Despite spoiled meds, weird food, and two new teeth in the last 6 weeks, I'm a respectable 18 lb 4 oz. Or do I have to say 8.28 kg now?

It was my birthday present

We got a note to go pick something up at the post office. When we got there, all we found was a hole in the ground. I don't think I want to know what was in my package.

Cart Blanche

Mom and Dad got me a birthday present too. I keep telling it to giddyup, but it's still not going. Stupid pony.

Commanding Presents

I got a package! It was a crackly envelope with fun poppy bubbles inside. Oh, and there was a new book inside, too. Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa R! Books always taste best fresh.

An Important Day

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad. One year ago today you brought me home from the hospital.

Nothing else interesting ever happened on this date, did it?

Auer Dult

Auer Dult is Bavarian for "It's dull spending an hour here." They cover the square in front of a church with a bunch of tents filled with handicrafts and housewares, and you go there to stand in the rain and freeze your tootsies off. It's like Frühlingsfest, with cutlery.

Party On

I invited Chiara and her parents over for brunch today. We shared my toys, and after breakfast we walked over to the pond and looked at the ducks.

In honor of my recent birthday Mom baked me a cake. It looked so soft and pillowy, I was tempted to take a nap in it, but in the end I decided to crumble a slice onto the floor instead. Everybody else just ate theirs. So much for thinking outside the box.