Chin Rinser

Sometimes after Mom or Dad has been smearing carrots or oatmeal on me for a while, they'll use one of these to dribble water down my face. What an amazing world, where they make special gadgets just for rinsing chins.

I'll get the tip

Grandma and Grandpa took me out for my very first meal of restaurant fare. This oatmeal tastes way better than the glop I get at home. Plus, it's decorated with sparkly brown crystals. Can somebody please tell Mom and Dad about brown sugar?

It's all relative

Great Uncle Dave and Auntie Pam left Paradise to visit me. I'm worth it. Okay, he being Grandma's brother may have been a minor factor. They took me to visit the California Academy of Sciences. It was scientifically academacious.

Also, happy birthday, Dad. You don't look a day over eighty-one times my age.

Let the Good Times Wobble

Grandma and Grandpa brought this amazing piece of multimedia entertainment technology. It sings songs and blinks lights and wobbles around all by itself. It's like a drunk Fred Astaire in brightly colored plastic. It'll help keep Dad entertained while I'm away at day care.

Pooh-pooh to poo

There's "solid" and then there's solid. Today I had my first solid poop, with actual form and structural integrity. A bona fide turd that you can pick up with your fingers like a Tootsie Roll. And Dad would have done exactly that and taken it to show to Mom, but I talked him out of it. Some tidings trump sleeping in, but I doubt this is one of them.

Sorry, no photo of this one either.

If you think two poop stories and a barf in three days is a bit much, you're in good company. It's all my editor's fault. This is probably the end of the line for scatological milestones until potty training begins.

Grandma & Grandpa R

Grandma and Grandpa R came to visit me. Woot, 2-day furlough from the MSDF and lots of snuggles for me.

As I'm a princess, I thought they'd like it if I introduced them to The Duke. Come for the cider, stay for the flocking.

Blargh

This must just be the week of superlatives. I had a 3-oz. projectile puke all over Dad this morning. That's a record, too.

Call me Van Winkle

Yawn! I slept for 11 consecutive hours last night without waking up. That is a personal best. Mom got 7 hours of sleep. That's a record, too. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's nap time.

Peas Porridge Poo

It's been a while since I blogged about poop. Not that everyone doesn't enjoy a good poop story, but there hadn't been much change on the backside front. I'm not going to gratuitously talk about excrement just to make my fans happy. I have standards, ya know.

Nevertheless, with pleasure I announce my first green and pasty, stinky, solid-food poop. (Well, mush food anyway. I want to meet the genius who decided to call vegetable purée "solid".) Dad assures me that this is olfactorily an order of magnitude more vile than the cheesy stuff I had before, and that makes it special. He's looking forward to the next 2 years, I can tell.

In unrelated news (Dad hopes), I have expanded my food repertoire to include green vegetable goo in addition to orange and white. It looks to me like in-one-orifice, out-the-other, but Dad assures me that the incoming stuff is peas.

Long Shot

Two more shots today. Aren't I lucky?

Aunt Sadie Wants You

We take our civic responsibilities very seriously here at SARGworld. Whatever mess you create, my generation inherits. That's why I'm voting party line on the Moxy Früvous ticket. You can give me my chocolate eclair any time now, Dad. Any time.

Peter, Peter

I started eating orange vegetables this week, and now they're turning the tables on me.

Is this thing bigger on the inside than the outside?