Time was when I had to take medicine for acid reflux. There was the horribly salty one, and there was the liquid distillation of peppermint Altoids. Five times a day, Mom and Dad would wrestle me to the floor, pin my tongue down with a finger, and squirt in a foul concoction.
Not anymore! I spit out that nasty stuff until they gave up. Now I just drink yummy milk. A couple of times a day it comes in this weird plastic bottle, and Mom or Dad fusses with a syringe stuck into the bottom of it. Whatever makes them happy. I am gracious in victory.
You should tell your parents to get a Medibottle, too. Sure beats taking medicine.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Having a Ball
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Swing Shift
Friday, September 25, 2009
Two-and-one
Of Gravitas and Thrones
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Lulling the Parents
For two nights in a row now I've slept from 11 PM until 7 AM without waking. Dad likes to say, "Once is a fluke, twice is coincidence, and three times is a pattern." Don't worry, though: I'll go back to waking for food at 3:30 and 6:00 as soon as Mom goes back to work.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Wiggle Room
I start my stint at the Minimum Security Daycare Facility next week, so Mom and Dad took me to visit today. I wiggled on a fluffy rug, and Dad read me Goodnight Moon. I also met a couple of fellow inmates, and get this: they can crawl. I've got to get them to teach me that; it looks useful for my ultimate plan.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Double the Fun
Mom's taking two weeks off work before I start at daycare, and Dad's still hanging out at home too. Does this mean I get twice as many airplane rides, or that I only get away with half the mischief?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I've Got to Hand it to Me
I get tired of waiting for Mom or Dad to give me back my pacifier. So as soon as they let me out of the sleeping straitjacket, I found a handy substitute.
And if I dribble milk on my hands when Mom feeds me, I can save some of my last meal for a scrumptious midnight treat. Bonus!
And if I dribble milk on my hands when Mom feeds me, I can save some of my last meal for a scrumptious midnight treat. Bonus!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Solids
On second thought, I'm not so sure I like solids after all.
Seriously, rice cereal? What a way to ruin perfectly good milk.
Seriously, rice cereal? What a way to ruin perfectly good milk.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Abandoned!
Mom and Dad abandoned me at home, crying in my bassinet; they thrust a pacifier and bottle at Uncle J and Auntie K and scampered off to see the musical show Dik Od Triaanenen Fol (Finns Ain't What they Used To Be). I can only imagine it was done out of ignorance on their part: if they'd known how passionate I am about Finnish musical theatre, they would have brought me along, right?
Another for the Record Books
Far be it from me to be excessively prideful, but I produced a continuous filament of drool that reached from my mouth almost to the floor. While Dad was carrying me. It finally broke when Dad tried to do yo-yo tricks.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Look, Ma: Hands!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Reader Mailbag
"I love that you do this. Don't let anyone convince you it's anything other than a service to humanity!"
My fans are few, but fanatical.
My fans are few, but fanatical.
Friday, September 11, 2009
New digs
Mom and Dad booted me out of my cozy nest in their bed. They claim I outgrew it, but the grapevine says I was wiggling too much for Mom to sleep through. This fancy bassinet makes noises I'm supposed to find soothing. I don't care for the beeps and chirps they call music, but I groove on the internal organs: Lub-dup, gurgle, swoosh. Gets me every time.
This photo shows the calm after the storm. You don't want to be around when this girl misses her morning nap. I tried to curl up in a corner for "time out", but, uh...
This photo shows the calm after the storm. You don't want to be around when this girl misses her morning nap. I tried to curl up in a corner for "time out", but, uh...
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Sugar is solid
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Swim party
Thursday, September 3, 2009
What did you bring me?
Grandma Natalie and Grandpa Dale are back for their annual Labor Day bridge tournament and grandchild visit. With 50% more grandchildren to see than last year, it doesn't look like they'll be playing a lot of bridge this time around.
Mom and Uncle Henhuh are expected to fade discreetly into the background and magically appear again whenever a child starts crying. There will be a test.
Mom and Uncle Henhuh are expected to fade discreetly into the background and magically appear again whenever a child starts crying. There will be a test.
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