Double Thighs

I watched Dad changing Abby's diaper today. She gets messy in places where I've never had places. You've heard of double chins, right? Is there even a name for an extra crease in your upper thigh?

Abby's now 11 lb 14 oz, and I've been hovering around 21 lb for a couple of months. At this rate she's going to outweigh me before she's 6 months old. But I'll still win the wrestling matches, because I can roll over — not to mention running to get Mom.

Skip Two, My Loo

Mom thought she was being prepared by buying my diapers a month in advance. But I've been shooting up the weight curves, and at 11 lb 7 oz, I've now outgrown the ones she has stockpiled. Anyone need about a hundred size-1s?

Her next clever plan is to skip size 2 entirely, going straight to size 3. It'll be a while before I'm too big for my britches again.

U3

At my U3 appointment, I tipped the scales at 4350 g (9 lb, 9.5 oz) and measured 54 cm (21 in) long. Plus, they let us go home afterward, unlike last time. Mom's glad, because the grown-up food in the hospital isn't nearly as good as the cafe we visited to celebrate.

Dad's Wrinkles

There's nothing like sucking on a tasty Dad-pinkie when you're feeling a little under the weather. At least, not once Mom gets grumpy and takes away the real thing.

In other news, today I weighed in at 4130g (9 lb 1.5 oz). I guess hospital food agrees with me.

Up a Pound

At the midwife visit today, I weighed 8 lb 6 oz. Most babies regain their birth weight by 10–14 days old. I'm more than a pound over!

The midwife also rubbed off most of my remaining umbilical-cord scab. I'm not sure how I feel about her hurrying nature along like that, but my navel is prettier this way. Are there positions open for baby belly-button models?

Weighing In

According to the scale at home, I'm now 7 lb 12 oz, up 15 oz from my low point a week ago. At this rate, when I'm 25... I don't even want to think about it.

Oh, Not the Band

Woo! I get to go to U2!

Oh, wait, it's just a doctor visit. Following Germany's standardized pediatric schedule, I had my U1 exam when I was born, and my U2 exam this morning. I weighed 3180 g, up another 70 g from yesterday.

Dad says we live on the U6 subway line. Does that mean I have to wait until I'm 10 months old to go home?

Stat Block

Big day for me: I was born. It doesn't get much more life-changing than that.

I hear grownups like numbers, and that it's good to humor them so they keep giving you milk and snuggles. So here are the boring details:

• Name: Abigail Bailey
• Date/Time: November 16, 2010, 12:37 pm
• Location: Frauenklinik Dr. Geisenhofer, Munich, Germany
• Weight: 3330g; 7 lbs 5 oz
• Length: 51 cm; 20 inches

For those of you paying attention, you'll note that I'm two inches longer and more than two pounds heavier than Sadie was when she was born. Watch out, "big" sister — I'm gaining on you.

Abigail is for my mom's dad, Allan. Bailey is for Mom's Aunt Barbara, and it's also Dad's great-grandmother's maiden name. This must be that German efficiency I've heard so much about.

Like Sadie, I clawed my way out of Mom's tummy. It was pretty easy, though, since there were clear trail markers from when she took that path.

Score!

Chalk me up at twenty pounds. Must be all those Biergarten french fries.

Weighing In

Our air shipment of stuff finally arrived. I didn't know that 10–14 days is the same as 6 1/2 weeks. Must be Icelandic volcano-math. If I can eat müsli without chewing it, you'd think a huge jet engine could swallow a little ash.

Since I don't see any toys or cake in the boxes, the most important thing to arrive is my scale. Despite spoiled meds, weird food, and two new teeth in the last 6 weeks, I'm a respectable 18 lb 4 oz. Or do I have to say 8.28 kg now?

Winsome, lose some

In the past week, I've lost 12 oz. This is knocks me down 5 points on the weight chart, but puts me back in the bowling league. I'm pretty sure this has less to do with getting my back all carved up and more to do with needing to eat more yummy big-people food. More ice cream, Mom!

9-month checkup

The 9-month checkup is the best one ever. No shots! After looking me over briefly, Dr. Griffin told Mom and Dad that I'm perfect and they need to feed me lots more big-people food. Well, duh. I told them that, but did they believe me? Just another example of credential inflation in our society when it takes a MD to say what a baby knows.

Plus, at this "9-month" checkup I'm 5 days shy of 10 months. Those doctors aren't as clever as they think they are.

I weighed 15 lb, 11.5 oz. Not bad for not having eaten in a week.

In a League of My Own

I can't participate in a bowling league in my former role anymore. The rule says a ball can't be over 16 lb. Guess I'm sidelined until I'm big enough to push one without it pushing me back.

So that's what strawberries taste like

Mom and Dad dragged me to the doctor because I've been coughing. The doctor says she wouldn't do anything under ordinary circumstances, but because of my upcoming spin with the scalpel she put me on some antibiotics just in case. This kind is strawberry-flavored, even though strawberries are on the not-for-babies list along with honey, wires, and Mom's eyeglasses.

The nurse measured me at 14 lb 13.5 oz. I like the scale at home better: it puts me just over 15 lb. Of course, I can eat 6 oz at a time and pee 8 oz between meals, so it's a moving target.

Rolling Stone

I'm an expert at rolling now. And I weigh 14 lb. Need I say more?

Back on the Meds

Dad took me in for my second round of flu shots, both seasonal and H1N1, today. He also picked up a fresh bottle of hooch from the pharmacy, saying something about making sure it doesn't freeze. Dunno what that was all about.

After a particularly noisy weekend, things have quieted down around here. It's nice to not have to listen to all that wailing and gnashing of teeth, er, gums. Or be producing them. Everyone at daycare was more cheerful than last week. Mom and Dad too.

I'm feeling lots better now than I was last week. Lighter, too. I weighed in at 13 lb 8 oz, down from 13 lb 14 oz (after a big meal) on Friday. Maybe I shouldn't party so hard.

Six-Month Checkup

At my 6-month pediatrician visit, I tipped the scales at 12 lb 10.5 oz and measured 25.5 inches long. This puts me in the 3rd percentile for weight and the 42nd for length. Adjusting for my having been born three weeks early, I'm in the 7th percentile for weight and the 62nd for length. If Dad's Sparky, I'm aiming for Spiky.

Doc says I should start eating solids twice a day, and keep taking Zantac and Prilosec since they seem to be working well. She said something about me weaning myself off of them simply by continuing to grow. I didn't have the heart to tell her I haven't had to choke any medicine down for weeks now. Mom and Dad just nodded.

Sleeeeep saaaaacks

When you're above the 50th percentile in length and below the 10th in weight, you're going to have some trouble finding clothes that fit. I had to find a tailor to do a custom alteration, lengthening all my wearable blankets. Luckily Mom wasn't too far away.

Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb

My pediatrician says it's okay for me to eat solid foods now, so I've been chomping away at Dad's finger. Tasty, but tough. Spit won't dissolve it (oh, how I have tried), and without teeth, separating it from his hand is going to take a while. Seems like life's big challenges always come down to unhinging your jaw.

I'm now officially 24" long and 10 lb 6 oz. That puts me at the 45th percentile in length (up from the 20th percentile last month) and the 3rd in weight (up from the 2nd). Although I've more than doubled my weight since birth, I've still gained more inches than pounds. We ladies prefer svelte to scrawny, thank you very much.

People aren't wearing enough hats

After a visit to the pediatrician, I've started taking medicine for acid reflux, in the hopes that it'll help me feel better and eat more comfortably. Everybody thinks I have heartburn because I'm a baby, with an immature digestive system. In fact it's because my hostile takeover of the Crimson Permanent Assurance isn't going as smoothly as I'd like.

I measured 22.5 inches, 9 lb 2.5 oz.