Most Recent Indignity

Went in for an MRI so the doctors could look at the innards of my tuchas. (I have a dimple on my back that might be a sign of something going on inside.) You have to lie totally still for an MRI, which for a wiggly little baby means anesthesia. If you think it's nearly impossible to stick an IV into an 8-lb baby, you're right.

I'll let you know what they found when they tell me.

D&D

D&D again. I was all set with my readied action to charm person, but somebody snuck up and cast sleep on me.

Hangin' with my hangies

Now that I'm starting to realize that I have hands, I love to lie in the over-stimulation pod and swat at my hangies. Rattle Robot is my favorite, but I also enjoy Buzzy Frog, and I'll even play with Plastic Butterflies from time to time.

I'm in it for the classy shoes

Now that I've reached eight pounds, I'm ready to participate in a bowling league — as a ball.

Father's Day

Everybody came over for brunch, before Grandma Natalie and Grandpa Dale left for home. They ate bagels and fruit, but nobody got me any. Even Yash had some bagel, but they just gave me the finger. (Oy, the lengths I'll go to, to justify posting a photo....)

Dad says when you have a baby boy, when he gets older you have to worry about one teenage boy. But when you have a baby girl, you worry about all the teenage boys.

Happy Father's Day, Dad. My gift to you is that I don't have any boyfriends yet.

Giants

Uncle Henhuh took us all to see the San Francisco Giants play aginst the Texas Rangers. Thanks, Henhuh! Of the ten people in our party, three were attending our very first baseball game: me, Yash, and Santosh's dad. Mostly what I remember is that it was cold: by the end of the evening, I was wearing five layers, not counting Mom. Poor Dale was half-frozen. I don't think temperatures that low are allowed in Houston.

We won the game 2 to 1, when the runner stole home after the catcher dropped the ball in the bottom of the 11th. Don't ask me what any of that means. I just repeat what Dad says and spit up on his clean shirts.

House hunting

Mom and Dad took me house hunting. Since there were no pictures and nobody cares, we'll never run this story.

Grandma Natalie & Grandpa Dale

Grandma Natalie and Grandpa Dale came to visit, bringing toys for everybody. Thanks, Grandfolks! People say I look like Grandma. Cousin Yash is the spitting image of Grandpa. Which is a pretty good trick, since there's no blood relation.

Can I have her toys?

Massi Santosh came over this morning with cousins Anya and Yash, to hang out. Rebecca is out of town, so Anya got to play with all her toys, while Yash played with mine. I'm happy to share... for now.

I Win!

A couple of days ago, I described The Man's attempt to crush my free spirit by imposing a bedtime ritual.

Thanks to my lengthy and strident protests, Mom and Dad gave up on that. Now they don't try to put me to bed until I get sleepy. Mua ha ha, I have regained control. See you at 1 AM!

We Wuv Woombies!

My first ever product endorsement. Actually, Mom and Dad are doing the endorsement over my objection.

Woombies are for swaddling babies. Now, regular baby swaddles look like sleeveless sleep sacks with angel wings. Not only do they look cute, but the wings wrap around to pin your arms to your sides. Takes about five minutes to put one on properly -- and you can get your arms free in five seconds. (Plain ol' swaddling blankets are even better. I can get out of one of those before it's even completely on.)

Woombies, on the other hand, are stretchy sleeping bags that zip onto you in seconds and you can't break out of ever. Plus, you look like a little writhing worm with a baby head. How humiliating. On top of that, they don't have any velcro to rip up all the other stuff in the wash. No fun at all.

There are two versions of Woombies, the old ones that zip up from the bottom, and the new ones that zip down from the top. The old ones are easier to get on, but I can push one arm out the neck if I try hard. The new ones are a little trickier to put on, but even more secure.

Mom and Dad swear by Woombies, so you should do your best to make sure your parents don't get you one.

MV Moms

Mom and Dad took me to Mountain View to meet Katherine and Rebecca's friends. When do I get to pick my own friends?

After that, we visited Mom's office. We saw dozens of people hard at work reading blogs and web comics. Didn't notice anyone reading my blog, though.

Roll Initiative

D&D at our house. I'm all set to play the gnome sorcerer. My best spell is charm person.

Crushed by The Man

Mom and Dad decided I need more "structure", which I am sure is a synonym for repression. Since I'm too short for the military academy, they started with a bedtime "routine", which is a synonym for soulless orthodoxy.

Every day starting at 8 PM, they march me down this weary path:

1. Feed me until I slosh. 
   
2. Change my diaper and brush my gums.
   
3. Slide me into a sleeping "swaddle" (straitjacket).
   
4. Read a story and sing a song (mental indoctrination).
   
5. Tuck me snugly into my co-sleeper and lie down beside me (physical coercion and intimidation) until I get drowsy.
   

The Man is cramping my style. A girl just can't be a free spirit (as in wailing banshee) anymore.

Rub A Dub

Took a bath. It was warm and soothing. Not terrifying at all. I could learn to like this.

Don't tell Mom.

Life's a (Cold, Grey) Beach

Mom took me to the beach with Katherine and Rebecca, and a couple of other friends met us there. I was all set to play in the sand, but it turned out to be a cold, grey, windy day, so I spent the time curled against Mom in a sling. All I can say is, Santa Cruz sure isn't Santa Monica.

The sun came out and the temperature rose about 10 degrees exactly at the moment Mom was putting my travel throne back into the car. Figures.

BUNNIES Memo

To: Babies United for the Normalization of Nocturnal Intervals of Eating and Sleeping, Santa Clara Chapter

Re: Proposal for Early Morning Schedule

As discussed at our last meeting, I have been researching nocturnal activity schedules. Based on the success of my most recent experiment, I believe the following scheme for the 4:00 to 7:00 AM interval will keep parents nicely off-balance and receptive to our demands:

Eat, Burp, Change, Eat, Cry, Burp, Eat, Burp, Eat, Change, Cry, Eat, Burp, Sleep

I will be conducting an expanded trial over the next few weeks and will deliver a full report at our next meeting.

Can touch this

This morning I reached out to play with Dad's jingly cube toy. On purpose!

I also had an epic spit-up today, hitting Mom and Dad and a personal-best distance record of three feet all in one go.

Like I said, we take what milestones we can.

Stacks attacks

Mom and Dad took me out to a place called Stacks'. It seems like an innocent pancake restaurant, but I fear something sinister is going on in the kitchen.

Up

Mom and Dad took me to a movie today, in a theater with popcorn and everything. The "Diaper Days" matinee was full of moms and dads and screaming kids. K and R were there, and Massi Santosh brought Anya and Yash. The film was "Up," in 3-D. I found that apropos, as it describes me most nights.

Everyone but me wore funny glasses; I opted for safety straps.

Soon I will be invincible

Mom and Dad scoped out the Google Minimum Security Day Care Facility where I can develop my plot to take over the world in comfortable obscurity.

They have nifty toys, the staff are really nice, and the snacks are made by a dedicated Google cafe chef.

Plots are tricky things. This could take a while.

MNWE

Last month we missed Monday Night With Everyone, on account of I was five days old. Today, I had the seat of honor.

Still no duckie

Today was my first bath in a real sink full of water and bubbles and everything. You know how terrifying that is. I pooped on Dad. He deserved it.

Excelsior*

One more visit to  the Newborn Club, where I tipped the scales at 7 lb 2.4 oz before a meal, 7 lb 4.4 oz afterward. Watch out, Yash.

Envious of my growing waistline, Mom and Dad went to Bellano Coffee, Dad's favorite café, for coffee and a pastry afterward. I kept them company on the couch.

* I mean "ever upward". Not the packing material -- that's a choking hazard.